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Should I Spy On My Partner?

Affairs were probably just as common as they are today, but there were less opportunities to have one. Men would typically have their affairs with women they met on business trips or at the office. Today with text messaging, hook-up apps, social media, dating websites, online classifieds, etc., there are dozens of ways for people to meet others and carry out an affair, even if it’s not a physical one.

With so much temptation in the world, it can be hard to trust someone, especially if your partner was unfaithful in the past or you had been cheated on in a previous relationship. So the question begs, Is it okay to spy on your partner?

There is no clear cut answer for this, as there are benefits to spying and not spying. Let’s first examine the reasons why spying may not be in your best interest.

In Favor of Not Spying

Spying on your partner probably isn’t the ethical thing to do. Relationships are built on trust and honesty, and if you can’t trust your partner, you have more problems than just a potential affair going on.

There are also legal implications to consider, as some surveillance equipment can violate federal and state laws, even though you don’t mean for it to. If you find out your partner is cheating, they could turn the tables on you and want to pursue legal action for invasion of privacy. This would be extreme; your partner probably would just get mad or embarrassed for the spying, but it’s something to think about.

Finally, you must know what you are prepared to do with the information. If you install surveillance software on your partner’s cell phone, you may read more than just messages to a mistress. Some women have confessed that their partners said rude things about their personality or weight. On the flip side, there’s the possibility that you won’t find anything at all. Now you’re the one in the relationship who has something to hide.

In Favor of Spying

Even though spying isn’t always the nice thing to do, there are benefits to it. First, there’s no way to work through problems unless they are out on the surface. If you discover that your partner is having an affair and you’re prepared for the news, you can acknowledge the problem and try to work through it with a marriage counselor or therapist. Many couples are able to work through affairs and actually have better marriages because of the help they received.

Second, sometimes the only way to get answers is by spying. If you’ve asked your partner questions and feel that they are lying, it would be silly to go on pretending that everything is okay. No one wants to stay in a relationship where they are unloved or taken for granted, and getting the answers you need would allow you to leave the relationship or work on it. Either way, you wouldn’t be forced to live a fake life.

If You Must Spy, Hire the Right Guy (or Gal)

Although there are many tools available for spying on your partner, it’s best to hire a private investigator NJ if you want real answers. By hiring a PI to do the work, you don’t have to worry about filling a role you’re not ready for.

While private investigators in NJ have cool jobs on TV and movies, they actually follow legal practices in real life, so you don’t have to worry about obtaining information in an infringing manner. Finally, hiring a PI gets the job done in one sweep rather than you monitoring your partner for months in hopes that you’ll find something. This behavior can become addictive and carry on into subsequent relationships.

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